Sela the Fish R.I.P.

(**Yes I am aware that Sela is really a boy but G wanted it to be a girl so there you go!_

Well I have some bad news....Sela the fish has passed on.
It was a painless death, preceeded by five days of floating on her side but still breathing and attempting to swim. Prompting me to come to the conclusion that Sela had had a stroke?
G received Sela from her sister exactly one year ago on September 13th of 2006. She had been BEGGING for a fish for months to which I always replied...ummmmmm no.
Seeing that it was her big day I went with a snap decision to have her sister present her with the fish as her present which made her whole day!

The last year as the caregiver for Sela I realized that the world truly has come full circle and I have become my mom. I found myself actually bonding with the fish the way my mom bonded with my brothers goldfish "Goldie" that he'd won at a birthday party, only to bring home and plop it down for my mom to care for.
I loved coming in G's room in the morning and calling out "Goodmorning Sela" to which she would come swimming out to the front of the glass her fins fanning out in excitement for her breakfast. I bought her a castle which delighted me to no end when I realized that she actually would go in the castle, her head poking out the window for hours on end.
When we had to care give a friends fish I actually found myself saying the words "I don't think their fish is as smart as Sela is."
I really loved that fish.
Exactly one year to the day she arrived in our home we came home from a family dinner, both girls out cold we transfered them to their beds and then as I turned to look at Selas bowl I saw her floating on her side.
"OH NO!" I hissed approaching the bowl. Bri turned, sensing exactly what had happened.

Me: "She can't be dead....that's a jinxer to have her die exactly a year later on G's birthday!"

Bri: "It is?"

Me: "Well I don't know if it actually is a jinxer but it seems like it would be don't you think??"

Bri: *shrugs*

Grabbing the bowl we took our conversation to the kitchen. She was still breathing and moving but it was all being done on her side.

Me: "Okay, we just have to keep her alive for three more hours. Then it won't be
her birthday anymore and it won't be such a jinx."

We made the decision to take the fish downstairs where we would keep watch and do what we needed to do.

Sela lived through the night, and the next night and the next night. I finally decided I had to expalin to G what was happening with her fish. I grew up in a house where my dog was dead for a week before my parents decided to break the news to me.

Me: (flashback) "Hey where's Ben? He isn't coming when I call him?"

Mom: "Sit down, we need to tell you something."

This is only one example of the extreme measures my parents went to to "protect" me from things. Making me a freak when it comes to surprises or secrets of any kind.

I showed G her fish and explained that the fish was sick. She is very sensitive like her Mama. She cried and cried and asked what she had done wrong? After assuring her that it was nothing any of us had done and that the fish had actually had a much better life this past year than its' previous life in a dixie cup at the petstore, she spent the rest of the day in a deep sorrowful state.

I went to the pet store on Friday to ask advice, I'm pretty sure they thought I was insane but I can't say that it wasn't a two way street when the pet store employee told me that Sela most likely had an inner ear infection. I think I just blinked in response to that.
So I bought her a new bowl and some new drops for the water but that night she passed away.

Today G asked about her fish. We had not yet decided how to deal with the death of the fish so it was up to me.

G: "Did Sela die?"
Me: "Yes. She did."
G: "Where did you bury her?"
Me: "We buried her in the backyard."
G: "So dad didn't just throw her in the trash like the dead bird right?"

(Flashback to summer when I told her Bri was going to bury the dead robin in the backyard only to have him come around the corner unaware of my story and tell her he had tossed the bird in the trash. Henceforth we decided that any creature would be "buried" in the yard to avoid further traumatic stress on her part!)

Me: "No way, dad wouldn't do that again!"
G: "Can I see her?"
Me: "No, she's in the ground. Way down deep."
G: "Can I get a guinnea pig now?"
Me: "No."
G: "A hamster?"
Me: "No."
G: "A parrot?"
Me: "No way!"
G: "Why?"
Me: "Because you can't flush a parrot down the toilet!"
G: "I wouldn't flush it down the toilet. I would bury it in the backyard like you buried Sela."
Me: "Ummmmmmm yeah, of course you would. Why would you flush it down the toilet!"

I miss you Sela, may you rest in peace :)